people

I’m feeling very upset now. I don’t know why, I worked very hard very hard, and yet here I am, feeling beaten already before the test started. I’m very down, so down that I gave on trying to improve on it. It just doesn’t work anymore, I don’t know why I can’t get it, I don’t know why I can’t see the solution. I did practice, to improve myself. I did improve, but still not enough. Today is the day I’m sitting for my Math test II and the world is ending on me.

For so many years, I was so good in mathematics. For so many years, I don’t have a problem understand it. But for now, that was then, not anymore. I still understand the working and the solution if I see it. But I can’t see it on my own anymore. I can remember the formulae, knowing how to apply, but not knowing when to apply and where to apply. I’m frustrated, dissapointed and my determination is running down. I came here aiming for CGPA of 3.9 and here I am, can’t even solve some simple mathematic question. I want to get to my target, my way of getting there is by hardworking, but I just can’t reach it. It’s really stressing me out. Giving the condition I am in now, I will only fail myself. Although this isn’t an option, I don’t have any option besides this…

In my class, there’s a variety kind of person. Hardworking, smart, honest, talkative, lazy, and worst is dumbass person. During my assignment, I have found that not all students are aiming high and they aren’t performing at their best. When asked to do something, simply they will do. I have these kind of friends in my group. And to be honest, I hate them a lot right now. I meant it! Because of them, I had to do the assignment, to do the assignmnet almost all by my own. Because of this, I have no time to study, no time to do revision, to practice on more exercise. Such person is Adrian. He’s from Sabah, not a bad person. The problem is that he don’t take things seriously, didn’t care about the assignment. The work he has done for me is merely just a copy paste from the webpage. It can’t be used, I had to redo and time is needed. Sacrifice had to be made. Another one is Shen Wei, from Melaka, also a nice person just like Adrian. In priciples of economics assignment, I assigned him with Adrian to do on a particular question. I got their work after a week. From there, I know that it’s not their work. Again, it’s a copy and paste from the Internet. Out of more than 900 words, only less than50 can be used. The rest, I can call them irrelevent point, but I wanna stress that it’s all rubbish. I told him that he did not contribute to the assignment. He answered me that he did. So, I told him about Adrian and his work. What he answered me hurts me a lot. This is what he answered: “It’s you who don’t want to use the other point in their work”. I told him it can’t be used, and doesn’t related to the topic. Because of these people, I had to do the assignment myself, and this is how they thank me.

I have a friend, Mel, from the same state as I am. She is experiencing the same situation as I am. I pity her a lot. Same like me, she had to do the assignment for all of her teammate, for 2 assignment. It’s a lot of work and needs a lot of time. Researchs are needed, and ananlysis need to be done on it. It takes weeks not days. At the end of the assignment, we have a part where each of us will give a mark for the other four teammates. The points range from lowest 1 to highest 5 based on contributions to the assignment. So, for her, it’s only fair to give them 1 mark. As for them, which do not have moral value, they gave each other 5 marks. I don’t know how thick is their face or what it’s made of, but it’s ridiculous. Mel determined to give them from 1-2, I wasn’t sure about this. So, there is one useless jerk from her group. He is our class representative. He is older than most of us. Why? Because he had done his form 6 already. But then he forget to apply for public university. So, his parents which is hawker must pay for his college fees now. How responsible is this guy? So, in thie assignment, from what I can tell, he is much useless than useful. However, this particular guy doesn’t feel satisfy when my friend, Mel wanted to give him only 1 for the contributions. It will affects their marks for the assignment. Indeed, Mel is being harsh on them, but to me it’s necessary. To these kind of people, you need to be. So, what he did is that, I heard from Mel, he said the rest of the team can be harsh to her too. By giving her only 1 mark for her contributions instead of 5! To me, that’s threatening. And this kinf of people, is more than useless. The society doesn’t need this kind of people.

This world is full of people who take other people for granted. And I curse them to death. It’s almost 2 pm now. And I need to attend my science practical class, after that, I’ll have to face my mathematics test.