Forgetting

It’s been almost a month now since I was back here in PJ. And from the last sem break, I found out that long distance relationship is harder to maintain than I thought it would be. First, final exam came and went and you finally get to go back and meet her. To me, it was very delight. When I was back in Penang, I spent so much of my time with her, so much that one day we can meet each other up to three or four times! We met so frequent until that my parents found out about her. It’s no more a secret right now. Time flies like no other days in that one month. In a blink of an eye, it was time again to come back. Being back for the first week, I found myself in the same condition as when I was here for the first time. The pain that I endured of missing her is too much to bear and to think of this would happen for every single semester did not make things any better.

However, things aren’t getting along lately. We have been arguing again, quite often. I don’t know why, but we seems to have forgotten our promise to each other before all this started from the beginning of my foundation course. As time goes by, slowly, bit by bit, we lost our detailed memories together and can only see each other’s flaws and cons. We started argue of who being wrong and who being right and ended up not speaking to each other. Nowadays, she has a bad habit that really getting my nerve. Whenever she is mad of me, she will switched off her phone so that I couldn’t reach her. I used to do that when I was fed up of her last time, long time ago but I never do it anymore. Maybe she forget the pain she felt when she is unable to reach me. Perhaps, this is the feeling she wants me to feel, hurting me purposely. She once told me that she love me like she never loved anyone before. I really trusted her and believe in what she is trying to convey to me. But on current situations, it is not true anymore. Nowadays, she would have the heart to leave me hurt like that, putting me aside, caring her own feelings. Back then, it was my feelings over her feelings in a sense that she would see me smile than herself smiling. Because once she see my smiles, she’ll smiles. I couldn’t stop telling myself that, maybe both of us had reach a no turning point, a situation that there is no going back, no reset button, no second chance would do and no starting all over again. Once again, she is not afraid of losing me...